CCC Livestream - The Gospel Shaped Family - Colossians 3:12-17
Live Worship Gathering: 7.5.2026
Preaching: Jason Purdy
I invite you to turn with me to Colossians 3.
We will focus on verses 12-17 today.
As we continue our summer sermon series: “The Gospel Shaped Family.”
We are walking through some key passages on marriage, on singleness, on parenting, and on children, as well as some passages addressing key issues that we all deal with in family life - both in our biological families and in our church family.
My prayer is that God would continue to make us and shape us by His grace and through His gospel into a godly church family that is made up of godly gospel shaped families.
I hear a lot of talk nowadays in business and in leadership about the idea of creating the right culture or cultivating the right atmosphere.
Whether it be in a restaurant, or a retail store, or a coffee shop, or a church, a popular phrase used is that “culture eats strategy for breakfast!”
What does that mean?
Well, strategy is focused on the details and the logistics:
We are going to greet people this way.
They are going to pay here.
They are going to fill out the connection card.
All the little details of how something is going to work is strategy.
But culture and atmosphere, is the shared beliefs and principles that lead to having a certain feel and vibe (as the kids say).
Consider the difference between walking into a fast food place to order, and you see no workers anywhere, and you have to shout out to get their attention from the back, and the come out, never look you in the face, and say, “Yeah, what do you want?”
Versus when you walk into Chick Fil A and you are greeted with a “Welcome to Chick Fil A?”
They ask your name in your order.
Any “thank you” is returned with a “my pleasure.”
Even though it is fast food, if you are eating in their dining room, they are asking to refill drinks and if you need anything.
It’s culture we come to enjoy and appreciate and want to return to.
Do you realize that our church family and our families in our homes also have a distinct culture?
It is a culture built on beliefs and principles that lead to a certain feel and vibe.
Our passage from God’s word today lays out for us the culture of Christ that is to shape our church family and our family at home.
The big theme of the book of Colossians is that Jesus Christ is preeminent over all things, and to live a life that is purposefully pleasing to God, you must find all of your needs met and all of your desires satisfied in proper relationship to Jesus Christ alone.
You cannot seek wisdom or glory or success in life apart from Christ and expect a godly result.
Instead, you must find all things in the preeminent Christ alone.
And when you find yourself in Christ, you are now able to live with others with an atmosphere of Christ and His likeness.
Would you follow along as I read God’s word?
Colossians 3:12–17 ESV
12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
1. Put On The Virtues Of Christ
Paul begins in chapter 3 verse 1 helping us understand that when we place our faith and trust in Jesus Christ for salvation, we identify with Christ and are brought into spiritual union with Him.
We identify in Jesus’ death, the death we deserved to die for our sin, but he died in our place, so now we die to our sin.
We identify in Jesus’ resurrection that we have been raised with Christ to new life by His Spirit within us.
And we are now to seek the things that are above, because Christ has ascended back to heaven and is seated at the right hand of God.
So, we identify with Christ’s ascension by setting our minds on the things that are above.
Heavenly things, the virtues and character of Christ pursued with the hope of heaven and eternity in our hearts.
Paul then says in light of our spiritual union with Christ, we are to put to death what is earthly in us.
And he lists the vices of the flesh that we are to put to death by the power of the Spirit of Christ within us.
They are sins and vices that have created a very earthly and worldly environment in our relationships with others.
Yet, now in verse 12, Paul turns from what we are to put to death to what we are to put on.
Living in Christ is not just about saying “no” to a bunch of things, it is just as much about saying “yes” to what we clothe ourselves with, what we put on.
And notice, before Paul lists the virtues we are to put on, he grounds us in the covenant love relationship He has made with us through faith in the gospel.
He says in verse 12, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved…”
You see, God’s word to you today is not that if you are able to please God by not doing certain vices and if you are able to please God by living with certain virtues, then God will love you, and favor you, and bless your family.
No, God’s word says you and I have loved vice and hated virtue, and we have desired selfishness and sin over God and His glory.
But God in His great love has chosen a people,
forgiven them of their sins,
adopted them as sons and daughters of God into His family - the church,
filled them with His Holy Spirit,
promised to continue the work He started in them until we see Him face to face and spend eternity with Him.
And you know that you are one of His chosen ones because by God’s grace you have faith that Christ died and rose again to save you.
As God’s chosen ones, we are holy and beloved.
God, in His great love, mercy, and grace has set us apart as holy, and He treasures us with a love that we will never find the end of.
And He has done this of his own volition and grace though we could never earn or deserve it.
And though we have done nothing to earn or deserve it, being chosen and made holy and beloved empowers us to live out the virtues of Christ in our church family and with our family at home.
If the US military chose and set you apart for a mission and gave you all the training and equipment you need to succeed in the mission, it only makes sense that you take action and do the mission.
Being chosen, made holy, and beloved equips us with all we need to live in an atmosphere of pursuing the virtues of Christ in our church and in our homes.
So, grounded in being chosen and made holy and beloved, put on, verse 12, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.
Is this the kind of atmosphere you are pursuing by God’s grace?
The word used for compassionate hearts here is the same words used for a person’s bowels.
It conjures up the feeling of deep emotion.
It’s like when you learn of something devastating happening and you feel a longing and a pit in your stomach due to the reality of the situation.
Consider Jesus in
Matthew 9:36 ESV
36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
Jesus saw their suffering, he felt their need, and he acted to help them.
William Barclay writes in his commentary: “The Christian, then, is to be a man of pity, a man who cannot see suffering or need or distress without a sword of grief and pity piercing his own heart. There can be no more complete opposites than callousness and Christianity.”
Is your heart drawn toward the weaknesses and difficulties of your spouse, your children, your fellow church members?
Are you so moved by the compassion of Christ for you while you were his enemy that you move toward others in their suffering and weakness with a desire to help?
Do you deal with God in the midst of your own hurts so that you are not hurtful to others?
Are you emotionally available and moved by those God has place in your family and your church?
Paul adds to compassionate hearts, kindness.
Kindness is showing mercy and doing good toward a person even when they deserve the opposite.
Because remember this: we are not to relate to others the way they deserve.
We are to relate to others the way that Christ deserves, and the way Christ has related to us though we did not deserve it.
Are you tempted to be harsh when someone doesn’t change right away and does the same wrong thing again and again?
Add to kindness, humility.
Humility was viewed negatively in the ancient world and many times is today as well.
Humility comes from recognizing that all you are and all you have is completely dependent on God.
Showing humility means preferring others over myself.
Philippians 2:3 ESV
3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Christ enables us to see beyond ourselves.
To prefer our spouse, our children, our fellow church members.
I don’t need to be first, be seen.
We don’t have to do it all my way.
When I was pastoring in South Louisiana, I came to a point where I knew God was going to move me on from that church,
I hoped to come back to North Carolina, but I didn’t have a lot of connections to find a position here.
But in God’s providence, Dr. Akin, the president of Southeastern Seminary right up the road here had agreed a few years earlier to come do a marriage conference for my little church in South Louisiana.
So, I started thinking, this is great, Dr. Akin can get to know me, I can share my situation, and he can help me find a ministry job back in North Carolina.
Now, Robin and I had a great pastor friend and his wife in small town Louisiana who loved the Lord, and loved theology, and we just knew they would love meeting Dr. Akin.
Now, I was going to have the chance to have one meal with Dr. Akin, and Robin comes and says to me, “We should invite our friends to come and meet him.”
At first, I didn’t want to, because I knew I would lose my chance to talk just me and him.
But, by God’s grace alone, He convicted me and placed on my heart to not only invite our friends but also to highlight them and their ministry to Dr. Akin.
God worked in me and gave me great joy to take the lower position that night.
And obviously, God was able to do without my help what He had laid on my heart all along.
Add to humility, meekness.
It can also be translated gentleness.
It speaks of not being overly impressed by your own importance.
It speaks of having the ability to handle things in such a way that other things flourish.
Meekness and gentleness are certainly not weakness, for Jesus was described as being humble and gentle.
The Bible says the apostle Paul was gentle among the church in Thessolonica.
It speaks to have the self control even in great strength to flourish and not damage.
Are you able to be gentle in correction, in reproof, in dealing with the weaknesses of your family in ways that build them up not tear them down?
After meekness, patience.
Consider Barclay’s words once again:
“The ability to bear with people, not to grow angry or bitter or irritated or annoyed with them, even when they are foolish or ungrateful or even apparently hopeless.
It is the ability serenely to take people as they are, with all their faults and all their failings, and with all the ways in which they hurt and wound us, and never stop caring for them and bearing with them.”
Verse 13: bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Listen, being in relationship with others creates burdens.
It takes from us our time, our resources, our emotional energy.
And God’s word is telling us here that that is good and right.
Bear with one another.
You know, we live in a culture, even in the church, where we talk a lot about boundaries and making sure we set boundaries in relationships.
And I understand why we do this.
We are all limited. We are no one’s savior.
We cannot completely sacrifice the other things God has put in our lives for one relationship.
But, do not take the idea of boundaries so far that you are not willing to bear with anyone because it sacrifices your time, attention, or emotional energy.
We are called to bear with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other.
It is impossible to have a healthy church family without forgiveness.
It is impossible to have a healthy family at home without forgiveness.
Because we are all sinners, and we sin against one another.
Forgiveness is not forgetting.
Instead, forgiveness is a decision, a declaration, and a promise to not hold someone’s sins against them.
We must all be eternally grateful that God cannot conceive of relationship to us apart from forgiveness.
But that means that we must not be able to conceive of relationship with one another in our church and our homes apart from forgiveness.
We forgive not because the other person deserves it, but because Christ forgave us when we did not deserve it.
Verse 14: And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Consider the great love text of
1 Corinthians 13:4–7 ESV
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
We see here how love is the great band that binds all the other virtues together.
Verse 15: And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
We must let the context of what Paul is writing help us here.
There is no doubt that it is one of the greatest of God’s graces to our lives and eternity that we have peace with God through Christ, and we experience that peace as we set our minds on him,
But that is not what Paul is commanding us in this verse.
In this verse, Paul is saying, in order to bear with one another, forgive one another, and love one another binding all things in harmony, we must let the peace of Christ rules in our hearts.
The word rule means to govern or control, so what motivation of heart must be primary in order to continue to love one another and live in unity?
The peace of Christ to which we were called to one body.
What is my motivation in the midst of this relationship?
My reputation? Getting my way? Winning the argument? Ceasing power and control? Looking impressive to others?
No, the motivation must be the peace of Christ which bonds us together in unity.
And be thankful.
It might seem like, why add this little command, be thankful?
But thankfulness is such a godly power.
Thankfulness breaks down any sense of entitlement.
Thankfulness says, “I don’t even deserve to be here and to have this wonderful relationship with God and this wonderful church family and this wonderful biological family, so I’m just thankful to be here!”
I don’t have to get my way, or win arguments, or be noticed.
I just want the peace of Christ to motivate peace with others, and I’m just thankful to be here.
The greatest way to put on the virtues of Christ and to grow in the virtues of Christ is to meditate daily on the fact that Christ has chosen you, setting you apart as holy and dearly loved, and then meditating on these virtues as the very ways Christ is always relating with you.
Put on the virtues of Christ.
2. Be Filled With The Word Of Christ
Verse 16: Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom
Will you note with me again that just like it is natural for us to think that letting the peace of Christ rule our hearts is talking about an individual feeling with God instead of as a ruling desire in our relationships with others,
It is also natural at first glance to think letting the word of Christ dwell in us richly is speaking to the private study and meditation of God’s word,
And while private study and meditation are good and necessary, notice Paul is not talking about that here, but once again he is talking about being in relationship with one another.
Notice, what does Paul say it looks like to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly?
It will look like teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.
It will look like singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
So in context, letting the word of Christ dwell in us richly is all about how we as a church family speak God’s word to one another,
And how we as a church family sing the truths of God’s word in praise to God with thanksgiving.
One way we do this is by saturating our corporate worship time with God’s word.
Our Sunday morning worship gathering is the number one place where we shape the culture and atmosphere of God’s church family by letting the word of Christ dwell in us richly.
We begin each service with a Scripture reading from our worship team to set our hearts and minds rightly on God through His word.
We only sing songs that declare rightly the truth from God’s word.
We pray prayers that are saturated with God’s gospel and that ask in line with the character of God that we learn in His word and in line with His promises that we read in his word.
We put the pulpit in the center of the service and give a large portion of the service to the public reading and preaching of God’s word.
Those who preach God’s word hold themselves back from speaking their opinions or choosing their own themes to instead glean the words, the themes, the promises, and the commands straight from God’s word and present them in a clear and understandable way.
We spend time in worship service every month taking the Lord’s supper.
We baptize new believers as part of our service.
And those are the only activities we do in gathered worship, because they are the activities that we are commanded from the Scriptures to do.
So, word saturated Sunday morning worship is the first thing that shapes the culture and atmosphere of letting the word of Christ dwell in us richly.
But that is only the beginning.
The commands of the New Testament make clear that we are to spread the culture of what we do in gathered worship into every other aspect of our church family life and home family life.
We are to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly by the way we speak the Word of God to one another in day to day conversation, in community group, in your marriage, and around the dinner table with your kids.
Now, I don’t mean that God wants us to do nothing but quote Scriptures word for word to one another, but I do mean that God desires that all of our communication reflect and be in line with the truth of God’s word.
What are we supposed to say when a fellow church member shares with us a struggle they are having?
What are we supposed to say when our spouse tells us about a difficulty at work?
What are we supposed to say when a child is complaining about their chores?
We are supposed to say words of love, encouragement, wisdom, correction, rebuke, confession, admonition, and reminders of God’s word, God’s works, and God’s promises.
We live in a day and age that so values “being real” and “authentic” that we feel justified in complaining and using sarcasm in the name of “being real.”
Even in the church, we are nervous to use biblical terminology and spiritual language in the fear that someone is going to think we are a “holier than thou do gooder” or a hypocrite.
But Jesus said that it is out of the mouth that the heart speaks, so if our hearts have been transformed by the gospel, the most real and authentic things we can say will be truths, promises, corrections, and commandments from God’s word.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.
You know what wisdom is?
It is the ability to apply the teaching and admonishments of God’s word to every area of life.
Listen, I know even for us who have been in the church a long time, it is not always natural for us to always speak words of teaching, promise, and life from God’s word into the everyday conversations.
But, I want you to image with me a culture in the church and a culture in our homes that is letting the word of Christ dwell in us richly.
Sometimes people say that they love being at church because of the wonderful prayers and preaching and singing about God and his gospel that is filled with His word.
Well, we are to extend that culture and atmosphere into our conversations with one another and into our homes with our families.
Singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs is a way that we teach and admonish one another.
That’s why is to so crucial that our songs reflect the truth of God’s word accurately.
Scholars debate whether the three different words: psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs reflect different kinds or styles of songs we are to utilize.
No matter if their is difference there or not, we can certainly learn from those words that the songs of our worship in the church and in our homes are to be filled with the Word of God and the truths of God’s word.
Can I encourage you that when we sing in corporate worship these songs that proclaim the truths of God’s word that it is important to sing out to God and to one another?
God means for songs to be sung out engaging your heart and your mind in worship to our God.
There’s a guy named Nik Ripken who Robin and I met in our missionary days, and he has done a lot of work interviewing and writing about Christians in some of the most difficult places in the world for the gospel.
Those who have spent time in prison for their faith, and they all have stories of songs of the faith that they have memorized and that they sung out in prison.
Singing the truth of God fuels and encourages our faith.
Some people say that they don’t like musicals because they are not realistic.
No one just breaks out into song in the midst of everyday life.
Well, those people certainly don’t live at my house, because we tend to do so quite often.
But I encourage you to engage with strong songs of the faith, and sing from your heart to God with others in order to let the word of Christ dwell in you richly!
Verse 17: And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
In all things, whatever you do, from the most seemingly meaningful and profound moments of your life to the most mundane and simple moments, when you speak and when you work, in your marriage and with your children, in the sanctuary and in the foyer, in all that you do, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus.
What does it mean to do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus?
It means that in the gospel, God has made a covenant with us.
Just as in a marriage, the woman takes on the man’s name, in the covenant of the gospel between Christ and His church, we have taken on His name.
We are the body of Christ and the people of God.
He has bought us at the great price of the blood of His Son, He has redeemed us to new life, He is our God, we are His people.
So, we carry His name on our hearts and flesh out the life of Christ with our lives.
When Jesus was going back to heaven, He promises that God the Father would send His Holy Spirit to seal us and be with us always until we saw him face to face.
We carry the name of the Lord Jesus as we are filled with His presence always through the Spirit.
We do this giving thanks to God the Father through him.
This once again points us the the gospel covenant.
No one comes to the Father except through the covenant sacrifice of the Son.
So we take up a heart posture of profound thankfulness to God the Father who loves us to the point of giving us His Son!
It is this gospel that shapes the atmosphere and culture of our church family and our families in our homes.
It is the promise of God’s present with His chosen people whom he has made holy and beloved that lead us to put on the virtues of Christ and to be filled with the word of Christ.
Are you daily meditating on God’s work in making you a chosen, holy, and beloved of the God of the universe?
Is this meditation causing you to put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience?
Is it empowering you to bear with others in their weaknesses?
Is it causing in you a posture of forgiveness?
Is it leading you to let the peace of Christ be the overwhelming motivation in your relationships with others in your church and in your home?
Are you learning to let the word of Christ dwell in you richly by being committed to the Sunday gathering and then taking that culture and atmosphere into your home?
Are you aware that you carry the name of Jesus because of God’s great covenant love toward you that is leading you to cultivate thankfulness in your heart?
Can I promise you the best thing you can give your church family and your family at home is your own vibrant relationship with Jesus?
He has loved you with an everlasting love and set His covenant love on you.
Thanks be to God.
Let’s pray.
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